This is the perfect movie for the guy who wants to prove his manhood while grossing out his date. Yeah. It dragged, the acting was only tolerable, and it left more questions open than answered. But still, don't you want to see M. Night Shyamalan's vision of how mankind meets its demise?

Be prepared for the immediate introduction of on-screen gore (producing Shyamalan's first R-rating). However, is not only an attention grabbing device for A.D.D. viewers, but a device necessary to balance out the character's sheep-like reaction to what should be a state of sheer pandemonium. And while this dreamlike reaction may not be realistic, it seems to be Shyamalan's commentary on how mankind has lost its sense of urgency while developing a high tolerance for horror.

Despite the big billing of Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, and John Leguizamo, we don't have enough time to learn to love these characters before they begin fleeing for their lives. And we're just puzzled enough about what they are fleeing from that we don't really care. (A curtsey does go out to Betty Buckley, who plays a wonderfully frightening Mrs. Jones.)

The Happening takes on the challenge of explaining science to an audience most likely still in (or dropped-out of ) high school. It reminds us that using scientific methodology, events must reoccur in order to prove they in fact existed... what does this say for the Holocaust and other politically charged current events?

I do know, now, why my allergies are worse this year than ever. And I'll begin speaking more kindly to my houseplants. So, YOU don't have a relationship with vegetation? Perhaps you should develop one and hug a tree while you still can. Because the very thing man reveres may very well be our undoing.

- Delona Lang